Sunday, January 15, 2012

A-ha!



Don't you just love those a-ha moments, those uplifting realizations that in one way or another make life just a little bit easier? Lately I have realized that ::

::my children do not need me all the time. Trust that they are competent people, that left to themselves are quite capable of a lot of things really. We've had a rough six months with little Esther, who has been an absolute horror when it comes to the sleep department. After finding this gem of a blog, I realized what at least part of the problem was: me. I have always been putting her to sleep, she has no idea how to wind down on her own. Changes have been made and I am marveling at how much better she is sleeping now!

::part of the reason I am so tired all the time can be blamed on my poor diet. I've recently started keeping a food diary of sorts for Esther and myself since she has a lot of stomach issues (I'm still nursing her). I need to figure out what causes her belly aches so that she will feel better and sleep better at nights. What I ended up seeing was just how badly I was eating. Esther got all the fruits and veggies needed, and I got "quick fixes" throughout the day. I'm sure many eat much worse, but this was far from what I consider balanced and healthy. Again, changes being made, which I hope everyone in the family will benefit from.

:: I need to slow down. I haven't been enjoying the day to day all that much lately, and I realized that I haven't for some time. So many things around our everyday life is constantly being done the quick way, to make life "easier". It isn't though, it's actually doing the exact opposite. Doing things the fast way means that I can cram more things into each day, and with all the cramming comes very little room for enjoying. I need to take time to smell the roses (we actually do have roses out in our neighbors little green space, how horrible is that? Roses in December, what is the world coming to...).

::we need to unplug. I'm not against my kids (at least the older one) watching television, but lately its just gotten out of hand. The TV helps me get things done, but honestly its just not worth it. I read a quote about parenting that went something like "The days are long, but the years are short". That is just so true, and I want to make sure I am making the most of these days that I have with my kids.

Let go. Take better care of myself. Slow down. Unplug. (And don't forget to play).







5 comments:

  1. Yes, so many wise words!
    Is Esther your youngest? How old is she? For us it went so much smoother with baby #2.

    I realized I loved my boys very much but I that I had to love MYSELF as well.
    I realized mamma does NOT have to be there all the time, that I need breaks too and that those breaks (read kindergarden, pappa time, even neighbour time!) makes them stronger and makes them trust the world and people around them.
    I realized it was ok for my youngest to cry and be upset when daddy put him to bed to stop his breast-sleep association, it took about a month for him to settle into the routine and now we say good night after reading a book(s) and leave the room, he falls asleep on his own at 20 months (its fantastic!).
    I realized children need loving yet firm and consequent parents who decide how are things done. I give the children choices but they are choices picked by me as their loving parent. They either take it or leave it. This has helped me a lot and has made the children less whinny.

    And yes the TV!! We have very fixed rules for watching it, mainly because we have a screen with no television access so basically they watch dvds only. I have always been consequent about tv-watching, only half hour (or 40 minutes) after dinner to give me and my husband time to finish dinner (cause the boys always finish after 5 minutes!), chat and pick up after the meal. Then it is turned off and we do other things. Otherwise they never ever watch Tv, they dont even ask for it cause they know what the rule is.
    So this comment turned out to be of biblical size but just wanted to give you moral support on your choices and to stick to them! The children really thrive when you are consequent. Good luck :)
    Oh and will let you know about the crock pot! Haven't tried it yet but hopefully soon!

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    1. Thanks for the comment Victoria! Yes, Esther is my youngest, she just turned a year old and Sebastián is 3,5 years old. Things actually have been a bit smoother with Esther, but I think it has mostly to do with her personality. She is pretty easy-going, while my oldest was very wary of people and is still a rather shy child who hides behind mammas skirts (or jeans, haha).

      I definitely agree on being consequent and giving children choices. I have noticed with my oldest that he cannot deal with too much freedom, the power is just overwhelming for him. The TV is overwhelming as well and is just such passive entertainment. I think a healthy dose is just fine, but no more than that!

      Wow, a 20 month old that goes to sleep by himself, sounds like heaven! I still sit by the older ones side when he falls asleep, he is afraid of the dark. But he falls asleep before his head hits the pillow, so its just a cozy time together really. Esther is tougher though, I've had to rock her to sleep and that is what I'm refusing to do now. She of course wanted the same treatment when waking up (over and over and over again), which was exhausting. Now she at least falls asleep in her bed, holding my hand. Next thing will be to take my hand away, we're taking small steps in the right direction.... Do let me know how you went about getting your little one to sleep by himself!

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    2. You know, I don't really know how we did it but I think the most important part was putting him to sleep in the same room as his brother and let my husband do the whole bedtime process.
      We have a three bedroom home and so we needed (and wanted cause I think it is great!) to put both the boys in the same room since I will be sleeping with the baby when he/she arrives and my husband in the last bedroom so he can get enough sleep to go to work. Time is ticking and with only a few months left before my due date we started putting Erik to sleep with his big brother in a bunk bed (the bottom bed is 120 and the top 90 cm so no one can fall out) at the beginning of december. Erik was totally excited about sleeping with Matias, we can hear them talking through the baby phone on how now it is night time and it is time to sleep :) so cute :) Matias was never too difficult to put to bed since we all co-sleeped until he was 2.5 (when Erik was born) and then just easily wanted his own room (he got to choose the bunk bed :) ).
      Before they slept together either me or my husband would have to sit beside Erik until he fell asleep. I think the fact his big brother is with him in the same room now is enough for him and we dont need to be there anymore.
      And again this turned out to be super long, sorry, I probably should have emailed you :)

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  2. Hi there my friend! I agree with the former writer, you are so wise, and I really recognize myself in many of the things you mention! I think these things/feelings you describe are quite common. But only by realizing this, and with the willing to make a change, you have come far! Life is not always easy and a constant learning. I think you´re doing a great job!

    We must get together soon and catch up! I really like your blog btw! (Sorry about my bad english, but it is good to try it sometimes :)).
    Take care!
    /Mona

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  3. Hej fina Mona! No doubt you recognize yourself, we are two peas in a pod, you and I! Thank you for the lovely comment and so nice to know that you are enjoying the blog. We absolutely have to get together soon, fika fika fika! ;) I made some chocolate cupcakes the other day that were to die for, absolutely must make them again. Coffee and a chat with you will be a good excuse! And the english was just fine, stor kram!!!!!

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